In 19 other states-- child
custody cases are almost always decided at the state
level-- there are local decisions allowing second-parent
adoption, but those decisions don't necessarily hold
statewide. The process, when allowed, is cumbersome,
expensive (sometimes costing upwards of $2,000), and
time consuming. Meanwhile, every state in the union
automatically recognizes as the legal father the husband
of a woman who gives birth to a child via donor insemination.
All this leaves many lesbians, and,
just as importantly, their children, in a legal and
emotion bind should couples, well, uncouple. Often
in lesbian-versus-lesbian custody disputes, the biological
mother is legally allowed to freeze the other mother
out; the courts consider the non-bio-mom a "legal
stranger" to the child or children she may have
raised since infancy.
That's distressing news to interject
into the excited conversations so many lesbians are
having about motherhood. But it's something we and
our allies need to address, with political plans of
action--and personal ones, too. Take the two DC-area
moms who unintentionally garnered all that attention
on New Year's Day, for instance. A week before their
daughter was born, they wisely moved from conservative
Virginia to progressive Maryland-- where where
both would recognized by the courts as full parents.
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