Seinfeld character Elaine Benes would "yada, yada,"
her lovers were sat down and put through the
"are you spongeworthy?" scrutiny. Elaine, along with
6.4 million other women, was a faithful fan of the Today
Sponge, and she was rightfully suspicious in 1994 when
the manufacturer announced a "temporary" stop in production
to fix a water-filtration problem. Elaine the Visionary
hoarded the pink, dimpled disks like doomsayers stored
Spam for Y2K, but she was vindicated when production
never resumed. Millions of women suffered morning-after-like
regret-"I should have stocked up early like Elaine,"
said one on the condition of anonymity. The polyurethane
hubcap, designed to feel like natural vaginal tissue,
was adored because it was available over the counter
and had enough spermicide for 24 hours, allowing for
less mess and more mojo. Six years post-sponge, women
are organizing, demanding its permanent place on the
family-planning shelf, even though it was only 89% effective.
And it looks like their wishes will come true. Allendale
Pharmaceuticals is awaiting FDA approval-expected imminently
at press time. Meanwhile, more than three thousand "Friends
of the Sponge" have signed on at birthcontrol.com --
with others joining every day -- to get their sponges
from the official online source as soon as they're approved.
Fearing that excessive purchasing might threaten access,
orders are limited to one carton per sponge lover.